Tuesday, October 15, 2013

~Wailing & Choking Sobs~

Oh nooooooo!

How did I forget the most innocent victim of this whole government shutdown debacle?!

MICHELLE OBAMA'S KITCHEN GARDEN IS DYING!!!!!

(Warning:  That blog post is not for the weak-of-heart... or stomach!)


In the eleven days since the shutdown began on Oct. 1, the pounds and pounds of ripe organic bounty have gone to waste.  The vegetables filling the 1,500 square-foot plot are now rotting away on the vines and in the boxed beds, thanks to the mandate for "minimal maintenance" placed on the skeletal crew of National Park Service gardeners who remain on duty at 1600 Penn.  

The gardeners are not allowed to harvest the crops, a White House source told Obama Foodorama.  Weeds are springing up everywhere, and the vegetables that have already fallen off the vines are now mouldering on the ground.

There are also mushrooms popping up inside and outside the garden beds, and leaf litter raining from the trees like confetti.  The wildlife that lives on the historic 18-acre campus--including a newly arrived fox now making a home at the White House--are having a field day. 

 Oh, my heart!  The pounds and pounds of ripe organic bounty!  GONE TO WASTE!!!

Until the Congressional showdown ends, there will be no happy little helpers joining Mrs. Obama to pluck the artichoke, okra, sweet potatoes, lettuces, squash, tomatoes, peppers, kale, carrots, rhutabaga, garlic, cabbage, exotic herbs, Swiss chard, collard and mustard greens, spinach, garlic, turnips, jalapeno and chili peppers that are now growing amok.   
 No no no no no...  No happy little helpers to pluck the artichoke... ~sniffle~ ...the kale... ~whimper~ ...the exotic herbs!  ~racking sobs of the wretched~

I-- I don't think I can go on reading.  It's too much for my poor nerves.  -- But I must.  For the Kitchen Garden's sake!


The sweet potatoes--a favorite of President Barack Obama's [emphasis entirely theirs], according to the First Lady--are especially abundant this autumn, said garden mastermind Kass before he was furloughed.   Mrs. Obama has proudly displayed four-pounders at past harvests, but this year's orange behemoths remain in the ground as worm food.

It can't be true.  His Majesty's own favorite-- left in the ground as worm food?!  I can't believe it!  I won't believe it!  I refuse to believe it!  (Well, I guess they'll just buy them from the Super-Exclusive Way-Overpriced All-Organic-All-the-Time Farmer's Market, instead.  No biggie.)

 There's a heart-rending photo of "lemongrass with white basil"... And then one of "a happy squirrel" shamelessly devouring his ill-gotten gains that nearly turned my stomach...  

Why couldn't someone have done something about this?  Prevented this horror?  Like... spend half an hour picking the vegetables every day or two?  ...Maybe even Michelle Obama, since it's "her" garden?  Or the first kids?  I know that We and They are not quite the same-- but lots of commoners set chores for their children-- light housecleaning or yard work.  Asking them to pick a few vegetables doesn't seem beyond the pale.  

...No.  What am I saying?  Ridiculous idea!