Those Crazy Swedes! ;o)

This is what happens when you put a Volvo 240 turbo engine in an old tractor...


(Video from Gotland, Sweden.)

The REAL Question...

Federal jury convicts movie theater crawler.

Anthony Johnson's weekends of crawling across movie theater floors, pilfering purses and running up $30,000 bills on other people's credit cards are over for now.
...
Johnson, formerly of Philadelphia, was known on the street as "Hustlin' Tone".  He drove a gold Mercedes and had a taste for dapper designer clothes and high-end sunglasses.
...
[His two female accomplices] described Johnson as slithering "like a snake" across movie theater floors before reaching inside partially opened purses and pilfering the credit cards...
...
"A good weekend was $50,000 to $70,000," McGowan told the jury. "Thirty (thousand) to $40,000 was a bad weekend."

She said Johnson chose primarily Fairfield County theaters showing movies like Eat, Pray, Love; The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; and Twilight Eclipse because "there'd be a lot of white women there ...He said these were million-dollar movies."

The real question here is... what in the world were these women doing putting their purses on filthy movie theater floors in the first place?  Ew!   No, there are germs (and apparently, slithering, slimy crooks) down there. You keep it in your lap-- at most in an empty seat right next to you (though I'm too cautious to do even that).  Same thing goes for restaurants.  And I pray for your everlasting soul if you dare put it on a public restroom floor.  If there's no hook on the stall door, you find a way to hang it on the corner of the door or you wear it the whole time.  There is no excuse for anything else.  --No!  I said there's no excuse.

...I think we all learned an important lesson here, today:  Paranoia pays.  ;o)

Can It Be True?

This feels familiar... I think I might've heard it (or something like it) before.



So... Can it be true?  Could an adult (without a severe mental handicap) really believe that deer cross the road at specific places because of the presence of deer-crossing signs?

ETA: Well, maybe it is true!

Baffled Again

Sweden was a trending topic on Twitter, so I had to check it out (of course).  Turns out it's trending in relation to some new development in the Assange case.  It's baffling how many defenders that guy has-- and how obsessed they are.  People really can become obsessed with anything, can't they?

Was It 24 CARROT Gold? ;o)

What a fun news story (for a change)! 

"Swede pulls up carrot bearing long-lost ring."

A woman loses her wedding ring in her kitchen.  Sixteen years later, long after she and her husband have given up the search for it, she finds it around a tiny carrot harvested from their vegetable garden!  Amazing! 

More VITAL News Via Twitter

"Mythbusters" put a canonball through a home and a minivan (on accident, which isn't necessarily immediately obvious, with that program), and some idiotic head teacher in Britain turned off his school's heating on one of the coldest days of the year to show students how the school could reduce its carbon footprint.  (Because simply lowering the heat wasn't bold enough, I guess.  I wonder if anyone explained to him how much more energy it takes to heat a very cold building versus keeping it fairly level at moderate warmth...)

On the other hand, Alec Baldwin was kicked off an airplane (before take off, in case you were wondering) because of his immature behavior... So it's not all bad news, this morning...

For Posterity

Read this morning (on Twitter) that "government to receive archive of every tweet ever sent".  I didn't bother to click the link to read the full story, but when have I ever let a piffling little detail like that stop me from reacting/commenting?


First reaction:  Well, that's creepy...

Second reaction:  *thinking back over what I tweeted, back when I actually tweeted, wondering if there was anything incriminating or otherwise potentially damning in the eyes of The Government...*

Third reaction:  Of course, this isn't really news, is it?  I thought we already knew that the Library of Congress was going to archive all tweets (or something like that...).  Also, I'm writing a blog.  On the Internet.  If "They" are interested, they already have access to plenty of information about me.  (I don't actually believe they are that interested, at the moment.  Just to show that I have no delusions of grandeur.)

Fourth reaction:  Wow. If they're keeping these tweets "for posterity", everyone in the future will know exactly how stupid, spoiled, and disgusting so many of our contemporaries are.  (Were?  Whatever.)  There'll be no denying it, now...

Giving Thanks

It's a couple of days early, but today, I'd like to give thanks that no-one in my family would ever send out a letter like this:

---
From: Marney

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

HJB—Dinner wine

The Mike Byron Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don't feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don't care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel - please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

Looking forward to the 28th!!

Marney
---

Apparently it's a real letter.  I first saw it here (on Awkward Family Photos), which is also where I saw this photo of Anne Shirley's dream wedding gown.  (That is the upper limit on sleeve puffiness.  Any puffier than that and the weight of the fabric causes catastrophic puff failure and eventual collapse.  Ok, not really.  I know nothing about wedding dress construction, and I imagine it is in fact possible to create puffier sleeves... but why would you ever want to?)

P.S. to my family:  As a married woman, I feel I ought to be contributing at the adult level.  Just tell me what to bring.  And how many pounds to make.  And what recipe I should use.   And what dish (lidded? not lidded? For Heaven's sake, TELL ME!!) to bring it in.  And how many serving spoons are needed.  Also: will a little EVOO be required to jazz up my dish?  If I bring green beans and asparagus, will you disown me, or just sentence me to a month of the silent treatment?  Please get back to me ASAP.

Just Don't Get It: Moustache Edition

Ok, admittedly, I'm not always usually ever the first to know about the latest fads.  However, often I can at least more or less "get" them and their appeal.  Cupcakes?  Owls?  Nyan Cat?  Sure, those are fine.  I can see how they might've become popular.  (I even like all three of those.)  This fake moustache craze that's been going on for years (?), though, I just don't get. 

How did this fake moustache thing even get started?  Does anyone know? All I know is that I've been seeing them with increasing regularity over the past year or so, and I think they're kind of gross.  Yeah, that's right, I said it. ;o)  Call me an old fuddy-duddy, but I'm not a fan.  (Some) real moustaches are ok, as long as they aren't hideous.  (If you aren't sure whether or not your moustache is hideous, please ask a trusted friend.  Either that or embrace the hideousness and try not to be offended when people look away with an ill-concealed expression of disgust... and possibly a little fear.) 

Again, to restate:
Real, non-hideous moustaches? Ok. 
Fake ones?  Popping up everywhere?  Next fad, please!

Ugh. Time for a News Blackout...

What with one thing and another-- such as what in the world is this ('Google Maps satellite spots bizarre structures in Chinese desert') all about??-- I'm thinking it may be time to take a brief timeout from the news.

Don't want to give myself an ulcer.  ;o)

"The People's Microphone"

So far, I've resisted all impulses to comment on "Occupy Wall Street", but really, this "people's microphone" thing?  This thing where (apparently, because they lack a permit to use bull horns) the crowd repeats (word for word, a phrase at a time) what the speaker is saying so that everyone can hear what s/he is saying?  It's awfully creepy. 

Then there are the interviews with the "occupiers"...  (And yes, I know that you can find clueless people in any group.  But still...)

Interviewer:  What are you here protesting today?

Occupier #1:  Uhm... Um... Uh... I'm protesting, um... I can't do this, I'm sorry.

Interviewer:  Well, let me ask you another question.  What do you hope to achieve by this protest?

O #1:  Um, what I hope to achieve is just to get our voices heard, you know. Just...

Interviewer:  Can you give me an example of what you want to say as far as your voice being heard?

O #1:  Uhh... Um... Meh-- like, I'm sorry; I'm just-- I'm ju-- I'm just-- I'm just I'm just mentally all over the place.  I'm really tired.  I haven't slept in two days, you know.

...Blah blah he doesn't have a shelter and doesn't want to sleep in the rain...

Interviewer:  And what are you hoping to achieve?

O #1:  Um...You know, right now the protest is just in its, uh, early stages, so... You know, right now we're just all about getting out there, you know.  Making, uhm... Yeah, just........ Um... No, that's it; I'm done. 

Then (after being asked), the dude admits that he's tried to, erm, "have relations" while he's been out there, but it was a no-go, because he had no tent.  (Man, those Occupier chicks are so demanding!) 

Interviewer:  What's more important to you, sir--  smoking weed or getting a job? 

O #1:  Getting a job so I can use the money to buy weed.  

Later, the interviewer talks to a female Occupier...

Interviewer:  Uh, what are you protesting here today?

Occupier #2:   Uhm, we're struggling, so, you know? 

Interviewer:  You say you're struggling, but you girls are in good shape, and you have the abilities to hold down jobs.  Do you think it makes more sense to get a job than to waste your time sitting around here filing your nails? 

O #2:  Um, f**k working for the Boss.  I'd rather make my own money; like, I could control... how-- how much money I make, when I make it... as long as I work hard enough.  

Hm.  Sounds to me like Ms. Occupier wants to be her own boss... like a business owner... an entrepreneur, or something.  But wouldn't that make her, like, you know, evil, or something?  I mean, like, what if, um, she decided she wanted to make more money than was, you know, fair?  And, like, how would she even know how much was fair?  Ugh, this is confusing!!  Well, anyways, being your own boss is probly alots of work an' stuff, you know?  So maybe not...

Interviewer:  How can we fix this economy? 

O #2:  ...I say abolish money.   (...someone in the background chimes in with a "yeah!" so she gets more fired up...)  We don't need money... in order to establish a good living-- like, there's enough food and supplies to go around for everybody, except...  It's-- it's f**ked up how we have to pay to live, you know?  You know what I mean?  If we all just rationed s**t out, you know, no one has, like, more than the other-- I mean, I guess... my idea-- my ideals-- I-- I like to live life more like Commie-Socialists?  ...But it's like... It's f**ked up how we-- we have to slave in order to live.  

Oh.  My.  Gosh. 
I mean, you know people like this exist, but to actually hear them speak (or in your case, read a transcript of their words)... Good ga-rief.  Ok, I'm going to go bury myself under a pile of laundry and pretend I don't live in a world where scary-stupid are out to impose their crazy ideas on the rest of us. 

Yes, these are the brilliant minds of tomorrow, and they're ready to lead! 

How Prius Lost My Business ;o)

Please add me to the list of people who find this commercial horrible, creepy, and nightmarish:

Truly, it is awful.

I solemnly vow not to run right out and buy a Prius, in protest of this creepy ad.  (Because you know I was going to buy one, otherwise, right?)

Ha!

(You have to know something about the authors and/or works mentioned to get the "joke", but at least I think it's funny...)

While googling for book/author recommendations for fans of P.G. Wodehouse, I came across a library website suggesting that if you like P.G. Wodehouse and Charles Dickens, you should try Ethan Frome, by Edith Wharton.  Ok, maybe for someone who enjoys the darker side of Dickens, Edith Wharton could make a little sense, but P.G. Wodehouse?  And Ethan Frome?  Surely this "Ellen" (the librarian making the recommendations) jests.

The other recommendations for fans of Wodehouse and Dickens were just as odd:  A Changed Man (apparently about a reformed skinhead), About a Boy (it's by Nick Hornby, so I'm assuming it's drama), March (which evidently "drives home the intimate horrors and ironies of the Civil War and the difficulty of living honestly with the knowledge of human suffering"), and War Trash ("painted with starkly melancholy longing").

This is just weird.  Or did Wodehouse (of Jeeves and Wooster fame) also pen works of starkly melancholy longing about the intimate horrors and ironies of war and human suffering?  Possibly I've simply never happened to hear of them...

Watch Fresh, Watch Local

This report made us laugh last night. The subject matter (a meth lab bust with children on the scene) isn't at all funny, but then there's the "creative" reporting/camera work (keep watching; you'll know it when you see it) and Boomer (who "kept an eye on them").

Donald initially thought this should be brought to the attention of the people behind the "hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife" and "I'm backin' up, backin' up" auto-tune videos, but sadly, I don't believe there's enough there to merit it.  Well, we'll keep a look-out for more promising reports. 

Worlds Colliding!

(Via James Lileks on Twitter...)

If you're familiar with The Andy Griffith Show and the original Star Trek TV series, maybe you'll appreciate this "worlds colliding" moment.  Apparently, two Star Trek episodes used the "Mayberry" sets when the crew of the Enterprise visited an Earth-like planet.  Check out some stills on this site: Mayberry in Star Trek. 

My favorite is the one where Kirk and some lady are walking right past Floyd's Barber Shop-- with the name right there on the window.  (g)  If only they'd gone in and visited a while with the friendly denizens of Mayberry!

A Bit of a Stretch...

Hitler cat 'overlooked for adoption because of markings'.  

Seriously?  The so-called "resemblance" would never have occurred to me if it hadn't been pointed out; it's pretty weak.

...Anyway, someone will want that kitten for sure, now, with all this publicity.

Derailed Duck

Two crazy Swedish guys break an amusement park ride. ;o)

(But really, they weren't spinning it that fast-- not so fast that you'd think it should come loose. Good thing there were no kids standing in the duck's path!)

Ew, Ew, Ew!!

"Family Driven From Home by Hundreds of Snakes"

True, they were "only" harmless garter snakes, but that's still awful and shudder-inducing.

The most shuddery part of the article is this: "The garter snakes were so prevalent that the ground around their home appeared to move", according to the family.

Eek ick uck!
That is so gross!

They bought the house aware of the snake situation, but they thought it was overblown. Yet everyone in and around the small town of Rexburg seemed to know about the "snake house."

Hm.  I wonder how the real estate agent brought that up-- and what they thought the "snake situation" would be like.  (Let this be a lesson to us all.  If a house is rumored to have a "snake situation", RUN.)

"It was just so stressful," Amber Sessions told the AP. "It felt like we were living in Satan's lair, that's the only way to really explain it."

Creepy.

The house, which the Sessions bought for $180,000, has been taken over by the lender. It is now on the market for $109,200.

I wonder about the size and "niceness" (you know, apart from the snake infestation) of the house... Also, shouldn't it be possible to get an exterminator in there to clean the snakes out?  I'm sure it wouldn't be cheap, but I'd say it's a necessary expense!

So, if any of you are looking to relocate to Rexburg, Idaho... ;o)

ETA:
Here's a better (more fleshed-out) article about the Snake House.  

The Internets Are Creepy

(And often annoying.  But I'm resisting the urge to write about that today.  Well, except for that little thing about Grooveshark, but that doesn't count, because it's not what's really annoying me online right now.)

Yesterday I uploaded that video snippet of Trixie playing with the Nylabones, and I mentioned the brand name in the description (both on YouTube and here in this blog).  Well, this morning I noticed that a third entity (not YouTube, not Blogger-- somewhere I definitely didn't post or mention the video or Nylabone at all) recommended that I "follow" Nylabone.  Coincidence, or somehow linked to yesterday's activities online?  I don't really like these creepy little reminders of how much the Internet probably knows about us all.

(And yet here I am, "feeding" it even more information. Oh well. (g))

Awww

Have you heard about this?

Deer Stands Guard Over Goose (with live video)