Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A Matter of Great Importance

I have to renew my driver's license this month.
This has brought up something of a mini-dilemma.

No, it's nothing to do with how to make sure the photo is decent this time.  I've long since given up on that.  I will look chubby, round-faced, remarkably unremarkable, and probably oily, no matter how carefully groomed and posed I am. But I guess that's ok.  I hardly ever have occasion to show the horrid thing, and practically everyone's driver's license photo is awful, right?

No, the thing that's got me worried (or okay, not "worried" so much as "perplexed"... and not "perplexed" so much as "idly curious") is a weightier issue altogether.  (Ha ha.  "Weightier".  The wit continues to sparkle.)  You see, it's my weight.

As far as the great State of Alabama knows, my weight hasn't changed since I got my first driver's license at the age of eighteen.  (I was a late bloomer, automotively speaking.)  However, as far as I (and my clothes... and those who've been around me the last 10+ years) know, my weight actually has changed.  That's right.  I know it's hard to believe, but I don't really weigh a mere 115 pounds.  (I hope I didn't shock any of you too much just then...)  Honestly, I may not have weighed quite that little even at eighteen.  Back then, I foolishly expected that they would weigh you and measure your height at the DMV, like they do at the doctor's office, so when the time came to fill out the paperwork, I had to guess. 

I've had my license renewed a couple of times since then, but unless I'm remembering incorrectly, no-one ever comes right out and asks, "Is this your real weight?"  They may ask if the address-type information is still correct, but they've never looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "Um, ma'am, it says here you weigh 115 pounds... and since that's obviously not the case..."  In brief, no-one has called me out for allowing the state to keep believing I'm skinny.  It is perhaps unlikely that anyone ever will.  (I wonder, though.  At what point will they come out and gently suggest that maybe you weight closer to 400 pounds than 120?)

However.  I don't see myself ever being 115 again.  It probably wouldn't even be a healthy weight for me, at this point.  I'd like to work my way down 20 pounds or so-- see where in that range is a good, healthy, maintainable weight for me, but that's going to take time.  More than the week or two I have left to renew my license, certainly.  (Darn it.  Too bad it's not that quick and easy!)

So my dilemma is this-- Do I come right out and say something about it, this time?  "Oh, by the way, my weight is wrong on the old card.  I'm actually XYZ pounds, now."  (And hope they won't notice what a big jump in numbers that is... (g))  Or do I keep quiet and let Alabama go on thinking I'm supermodel thin? ;o) I'm sure the workers (most of whom are women) can tell when a woman weighs more than her information says-- and most of them probably fudge the truth a little, themselves.  (Doesn't everyone?)

Also, if I do decide to correct the number, how far should I go?  I mean, I am trying to lose a little weight.  If I tell them the exact number I am now, and then I succeed in losing 10 or 15 pounds (or more) in the next four years, I'll have to get them to change it again.  (And I wouldn't want to create too much extra work for them, you know.  That's the only reason I'd ever want to not tell them precisely how much I weigh at this very moment, of course.)

One way or the other, I'll have to decide soon.  The old (hideous photo) license expires August 1st. 

P.S.  Oops.  Accidentally hit "publish" before I was done.  Sorry if you RSS-feed readers got this one twice!