Diaries, journals, and blogs (or my blog, at least) can tend to become a little too grumpy or gloomy, sometimes. It's too easy to write only when something's gone wrong or you're not feeling your best-- because when you are happy, you're likely off doing something else.
To counter-act that, a few Happy Thoughts:
♥ The laundry's happily chug-chugging along. I like laundry on a dreary day. It adds to the atmosphere of cozy indoors. Plus-- every load laundered and folded is its own little accomplishment.
♥ There are two snoozy puddle-bugs in the house. Molly's in her dog bed in the kitchen. Trixie just lies down anywhere-- right now, she's on the carpet beside her crate.
♥ That reminds, me-- a couple weeks (or so) ago, we made a doggy bed/pillow for Trixie. She doesn't use it very often, but every now and then she'll go lie on it for a minute or two. Which is pretty adorable-looking, I think.
♥ The crown molding in our kitchen/breakfast room is up and pretty much done! This goes nicely with our beadboard/chair rail and fresh paint in those rooms, and we are happy with the results. (Now I need to paint the cabinetry and put things back on the walls...)
♥ Once I finish putting that afghan together (which would go faster if I actually worked on it instead of putting it off every evening), I'm going to choose a pretty doily to make. I like making doilies, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. ;o)
♥ I've taken at least one photo a day every day this year, so far. It's not an important thing to do, of course, but it really only takes a minute or two each day, and I enjoy it-- and being able to say that I've done it.
♥ I like putting things into order, and boy-howdy do I ever have stuff to put in order... (g) (This is what they call looking for the silver lining, I believe.)
♥ I have a practical sewing project (more Swiffer pads), which is actually my favorite type of sewing. I like making things that don't have to be perfect or even pretty. (This is mostly because I'm not a very good seamstress, but that's ok. No-one really cares how a practical project like a Swiffer pad looks.)
♥ We haven't had to use our heater (or A/C, for that matter) much over the past however-many weeks, which is nice. We were even able to have the windows open for a while and air out the house a bit. I love having the windows open.
♥ There are flowers in our yard. Some of them are weeds (wild violets, henbit, widow's tears, some unknown teensy blue flowers in the grass), but hey, they're still nice to look at, for the time being.
:o)
Here's hoping you're enjoying some happy thoughts of your own!
Showing posts with label rambles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rambles. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Because Everyone Loves It
I'm writing this because everyone loves it when you write about the weather is like where you live. The only topic they find more stimulating, in fact, is "What I Dreamed Last Night"-- but I'm saving that one for another time. ;o)
We've been having drizzle and/or rain for what feels like a solid block of time starting Friday night. (I'm sure it hasn't been going constantly, but it definitely feels like it has.) And it rained part of Friday, too.
On the plus side, that means the temperature is only 73°F this morning. (Trust me, that's cool. Even though it's not even 8 o'clock yet. For this area, this time of year, it's pretty cool.)
On the negative side-- well, you know. Everything's wet outside. It's not easy to do much out there without getting wet (not that I was likely to spend more than ten or fifteen minutes out there, had it been sunny and hot, but I guess there are some people who would have). The dogs don't even really want to go out long enough to do their business (as people say). And so on.
...Confession: I actually don't mind a certain amount of this kind of weather. In fact, I enjoy it. I'm sure that I, too, have my breaking point when it comes to constant drizzly rain, but it seems to be set at a level higher than that of most of my acquaintance. It's one of those things you feel a little guilty for enjoying-- as though your enjoyment is somehow making the rain hang around longer, thus sapping the joy from the lives of your friends and family. (g) It's also one of the reasons I think I would probably like living in the Pacific Northwest, if only I could magically transplant loved ones to the area (and change the political culture-- apologies to natives). (On the other hand, I've never been there, so if I ever visit, I may discover that it's nothing like what I envision.)
...Drizzle drizzle drizzle...
Oh yeah. One more downside of this weather...
It makes people more prone to sleepiness at all hours of the day...
*yawn*
We've been having drizzle and/or rain for what feels like a solid block of time starting Friday night. (I'm sure it hasn't been going constantly, but it definitely feels like it has.) And it rained part of Friday, too.
On the plus side, that means the temperature is only 73°F this morning. (Trust me, that's cool. Even though it's not even 8 o'clock yet. For this area, this time of year, it's pretty cool.)
On the negative side-- well, you know. Everything's wet outside. It's not easy to do much out there without getting wet (not that I was likely to spend more than ten or fifteen minutes out there, had it been sunny and hot, but I guess there are some people who would have). The dogs don't even really want to go out long enough to do their business (as people say). And so on.
...Confession: I actually don't mind a certain amount of this kind of weather. In fact, I enjoy it. I'm sure that I, too, have my breaking point when it comes to constant drizzly rain, but it seems to be set at a level higher than that of most of my acquaintance. It's one of those things you feel a little guilty for enjoying-- as though your enjoyment is somehow making the rain hang around longer, thus sapping the joy from the lives of your friends and family. (g) It's also one of the reasons I think I would probably like living in the Pacific Northwest, if only I could magically transplant loved ones to the area (and change the political culture-- apologies to natives). (On the other hand, I've never been there, so if I ever visit, I may discover that it's nothing like what I envision.)
...Drizzle drizzle drizzle...
Oh yeah. One more downside of this weather...
It makes people more prone to sleepiness at all hours of the day...
*yawn*
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Random Topics
(Not likely to interest anyone very greatly, but at least it's not about my driver's license!)
Gulf Oil Leak:
I'm glad it's sealed, obviously, and happy that (so far) it doesn't seem to have been quite so catastrophic as feared-- but I'm still not convinced that we know the full extent of the damage. I hope and expect that things will continue to improve, but in the meantime I feel like I'm waiting something out...
Some would not agree (a few might even be furious and say that people of my opinion are hurting their businesses), but personally, I still don't feel completely comfortable with the thought of prolonged time in the water or a diet filled with local seafood. I'm probably being overly cautious, but what's the point of pretending to feel otherwise? The fact is that we hardly ever eat seafood, anyway, so my abstinence will not hurt the local economy.
I will admit that for all I know, our local seafood on a bad day may be safer than much that is imported on a good day. I never said my instincts were right-- just that they are what they are. The "smell test" doesn't feel like enough to me, at the moment. I believe that (even if something were to slip past the safety checks) you can probably eat the occasional meal that is contaminated and still not feel any long-term ill effects-- but what's the point of eating something when you have no appetite for it? (Okay, I think I've made my point, so I'll move on.)
Politics in General:
I'm not particularly happy with a lot that's been going on, but that's not surprising. I try not to worry about it (not always possible), but I also feel obligated to stay somewhat aware of what's happening. I wait for my next chance to vote and hope (and pray) that enough of my fellow voters see things the same way I do to effect real Change We Can Believe InTM.
Moving:
It's those irritating new neighbors of ours. We're outta here! ;o)
Alright, not really. We're not moving.
The blog's not moving, either.
But there's another blogger I follow... I gather that her husband designs and builds (or oversees the building of) homes-- one at a time. I haven't seen her ever spell out their lifestyle, but it definitely seems like this is the pattern of their lives: They live somewhere temporarily while he builds the next house. When it's finished, they move in-- settle in. She decorates the home beautifully with their belongings. She writes about what a brilliant job her husband did on the house-- how much she loves this or that feature. The house is home and school to their two sons. (She homeschools.) Meanwhile, the husband locates another site and begins the process all over again. If they sell their current house before the new one's done, they rent until they can move into the new place.
I don't know about you, but that sounds fairly torturous to me. I could look on the bright side and say that life would never get dull-- you'd get to experience a lot of locations-- learn what you really like in a house, etc. But the truth is that it sounds excruciating to me. Moving everything in your house every couple of years (or less)? Just when you're starting to feel "at home" in a house, having it sold and moving on to another? You could never really put down roots-- never feel completely that this place is yours-- never make and execute long-term plans for a place. I don't think I'd like that, at all.
Maybe it's an unavoidable situation for them, but I'm doubtful... They must like it. To each his own way, of course, but I'm so thankful that's not how we live. I like a little more stability, a little less moving. (Or, ok, a lot less moving.)
Tropical Whatever-It-Is-Now:
It's no secret that the "news people"-- and especially the "weather people"-- tend to go a little crazy when there's something unusual stirring in the atmosphere. You can't really blame them. It's their time to shine! I have a greater-than-usual interest in weather, myself-- but lately they've really gone overboard. I've gotten used to the more frequent "severe weather" watches and warnings. What I'm not used to is the fuss they make over even the humblest of tropical depressions.
There's one out in the Gulf right now (for those of you who don't live around here-- because if you did, you could barely escape knowing all about it). There was one a month or so ago, too. That one turned out to be nothing. Unless you live right on the water and get a little extra wave action or slightly higher than normal tides, these depressions usually pack less punch than we get in an average afternoon thunderstorm. But because they're "tropical", we're supposed to be sitting on the edge of our seats. I do want to know the latest-- but that doesn't require an all-day crawler of information about a tropical depression. They started yesterday (afternoon? evening?), and we're not even supposed to get rain from it until this afternoon, at the earliest.
Does it hurt anyone to have the news crawler / warning map across the bottom of the screen? No, not really. (Though it can be annoying when they cover the important portions of the TV program you're trying to watch.) However, it does seem excessive, given the weakness of the "storm" and the fact that most people have access to the Internet, where they can go for weather updates 24 hours a day, if they wish. (Oh! And there are also two local channels that are devoted almost entirely to weather!) Worse, when they make so much noise about little, no-account depressions, they desensitize people to the threat of truly dangerous weather. It's a perfect example of the old "don't cry 'wolf'". When something big and bad does come along, some people might not take it as seriously.
Does everything have to be Big-Huge-Awful, these days? It certainly feels like it, sometimes. If it's not potentially The End of the World, no-one will care, so let's hype it up!
The Guy Who "Escaped" Down the Chute:
(I'm referring the bizarre flight attendant story that's been in the news for the past day or two.)
What? Is this guy really being hailed as some sort of folk hero? I just don't get it.
Look, I'm sorry that the man's mother has... lung cancer, is it? That's truly awful.
I'm also sorry that the passenger he was dealing with was behaving like a spoiled brat. Maybe if the flight attendant hadn't made such a spectacle of himself in response, she would have been the one facing legal troubles.
However-- There's a right way and a wrong way to deal with life stresses and unruly customers. Cursing someone out over the airplane's intercom system is not the right way. Opening the emergency exit and fleeing the plane (with beer?!) wasn't the right way, either.
I keep hearing about how the man will be sure to get some money for his story, because obviously everyone wants to hear all about it. Honestly, I don't. It sounds like he was being a bit of a diva. I don't know if he should face the exact charges that have been pressed against him, but yes, some sort of reprimand is in order. Did he put the passengers in danger? I don't know. It seems unlikely, but possible. Certainly I wouldn't handpick him to be a flight attendant on any plane I ever fly on. (I prefer someone with a cooler head, thank you very much!) He definitely didn't behave in a professional manner, and there's no telling how much his little outburst will end up costing the airline and society at large.
All in all, not very heroic, in my humble opinion.
Gulf Oil Leak:
I'm glad it's sealed, obviously, and happy that (so far) it doesn't seem to have been quite so catastrophic as feared-- but I'm still not convinced that we know the full extent of the damage. I hope and expect that things will continue to improve, but in the meantime I feel like I'm waiting something out...
Some would not agree (a few might even be furious and say that people of my opinion are hurting their businesses), but personally, I still don't feel completely comfortable with the thought of prolonged time in the water or a diet filled with local seafood. I'm probably being overly cautious, but what's the point of pretending to feel otherwise? The fact is that we hardly ever eat seafood, anyway, so my abstinence will not hurt the local economy.
I will admit that for all I know, our local seafood on a bad day may be safer than much that is imported on a good day. I never said my instincts were right-- just that they are what they are. The "smell test" doesn't feel like enough to me, at the moment. I believe that (even if something were to slip past the safety checks) you can probably eat the occasional meal that is contaminated and still not feel any long-term ill effects-- but what's the point of eating something when you have no appetite for it? (Okay, I think I've made my point, so I'll move on.)
Politics in General:
I'm not particularly happy with a lot that's been going on, but that's not surprising. I try not to worry about it (not always possible), but I also feel obligated to stay somewhat aware of what's happening. I wait for my next chance to vote and hope (and pray) that enough of my fellow voters see things the same way I do to effect real Change We Can Believe InTM.
Moving:
It's those irritating new neighbors of ours. We're outta here! ;o)
Alright, not really. We're not moving.
The blog's not moving, either.
But there's another blogger I follow... I gather that her husband designs and builds (or oversees the building of) homes-- one at a time. I haven't seen her ever spell out their lifestyle, but it definitely seems like this is the pattern of their lives: They live somewhere temporarily while he builds the next house. When it's finished, they move in-- settle in. She decorates the home beautifully with their belongings. She writes about what a brilliant job her husband did on the house-- how much she loves this or that feature. The house is home and school to their two sons. (She homeschools.) Meanwhile, the husband locates another site and begins the process all over again. If they sell their current house before the new one's done, they rent until they can move into the new place.
I don't know about you, but that sounds fairly torturous to me. I could look on the bright side and say that life would never get dull-- you'd get to experience a lot of locations-- learn what you really like in a house, etc. But the truth is that it sounds excruciating to me. Moving everything in your house every couple of years (or less)? Just when you're starting to feel "at home" in a house, having it sold and moving on to another? You could never really put down roots-- never feel completely that this place is yours-- never make and execute long-term plans for a place. I don't think I'd like that, at all.
Maybe it's an unavoidable situation for them, but I'm doubtful... They must like it. To each his own way, of course, but I'm so thankful that's not how we live. I like a little more stability, a little less moving. (Or, ok, a lot less moving.)
Tropical Whatever-It-Is-Now:
It's no secret that the "news people"-- and especially the "weather people"-- tend to go a little crazy when there's something unusual stirring in the atmosphere. You can't really blame them. It's their time to shine! I have a greater-than-usual interest in weather, myself-- but lately they've really gone overboard. I've gotten used to the more frequent "severe weather" watches and warnings. What I'm not used to is the fuss they make over even the humblest of tropical depressions.
There's one out in the Gulf right now (for those of you who don't live around here-- because if you did, you could barely escape knowing all about it). There was one a month or so ago, too. That one turned out to be nothing. Unless you live right on the water and get a little extra wave action or slightly higher than normal tides, these depressions usually pack less punch than we get in an average afternoon thunderstorm. But because they're "tropical", we're supposed to be sitting on the edge of our seats. I do want to know the latest-- but that doesn't require an all-day crawler of information about a tropical depression. They started yesterday (afternoon? evening?), and we're not even supposed to get rain from it until this afternoon, at the earliest.
Does it hurt anyone to have the news crawler / warning map across the bottom of the screen? No, not really. (Though it can be annoying when they cover the important portions of the TV program you're trying to watch.) However, it does seem excessive, given the weakness of the "storm" and the fact that most people have access to the Internet, where they can go for weather updates 24 hours a day, if they wish. (Oh! And there are also two local channels that are devoted almost entirely to weather!) Worse, when they make so much noise about little, no-account depressions, they desensitize people to the threat of truly dangerous weather. It's a perfect example of the old "don't cry 'wolf'". When something big and bad does come along, some people might not take it as seriously.
Does everything have to be Big-Huge-Awful, these days? It certainly feels like it, sometimes. If it's not potentially The End of the World, no-one will care, so let's hype it up!
The Guy Who "Escaped" Down the Chute:
(I'm referring the bizarre flight attendant story that's been in the news for the past day or two.)
What? Is this guy really being hailed as some sort of folk hero? I just don't get it.
Look, I'm sorry that the man's mother has... lung cancer, is it? That's truly awful.
I'm also sorry that the passenger he was dealing with was behaving like a spoiled brat. Maybe if the flight attendant hadn't made such a spectacle of himself in response, she would have been the one facing legal troubles.
However-- There's a right way and a wrong way to deal with life stresses and unruly customers. Cursing someone out over the airplane's intercom system is not the right way. Opening the emergency exit and fleeing the plane (with beer?!) wasn't the right way, either.
I keep hearing about how the man will be sure to get some money for his story, because obviously everyone wants to hear all about it. Honestly, I don't. It sounds like he was being a bit of a diva. I don't know if he should face the exact charges that have been pressed against him, but yes, some sort of reprimand is in order. Did he put the passengers in danger? I don't know. It seems unlikely, but possible. Certainly I wouldn't handpick him to be a flight attendant on any plane I ever fly on. (I prefer someone with a cooler head, thank you very much!) He definitely didn't behave in a professional manner, and there's no telling how much his little outburst will end up costing the airline and society at large.
All in all, not very heroic, in my humble opinion.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Back Pain and "Health Care Reform"
I have been a bad blogger lately, but at least I have something of an excuse for the past week or so-- that excuse being we've had company to entertain us-- Thorbjörn and Jocke visiting from Sweden-- and I've been struck (since last Saturday evening) with a bout of mysterious back pain.
(Note: I probably ought to warn you right away that this isn't likely to be a happy or interesting post. I'm up late with more of the same pain, and I don't really have anything fun to write about. This is mostly a "venting" entry and a way to remember a few specifics in case the need to remember them should ever arise. Once I'm feeling better, I'll try to write something other than a grumble. Really. My tender, delicate feelings will not be hurt-- at all-- if you choose to skip this. In fact, I recommend it. (g) Again, really.)
The only reasons I can think of for the pain are one of these:
1) Saturday, I spent a lot of time standing around and sitting at tables. When I sit at tables, I probably tend to not have the best posture. . . and maybe somehow that triggered something. (?)
2) Possibly during cleaning on Tuesday and Wednesday I strained my back somehow. I know that it sometimes takes a day or so for pain to begin after a strain, but how likely it is to take three or four days, I'm not sure. . .
3) Something else that completely slips my mind-- possibly something that I'd never expect to cause back pain. Or I was just a ticking time bomb of back pain waiting to go off at the worst possible moment. ;o)
I feel like a little of a sissy-baby for making such a big deal about it, but it's just so frustrating. I've probably been lucky, but for years and years, I practically never took pain pills, and in more recent years, when I have started taking them for the occasional headache or abdominal cramp, they've tended to work. Sometimes they work better than others, but I can usually tell a difference, at least, even if I find I need to take the bigger recommended dose. This time, though, nothing I've taken seems to reliably put a dent in the pain. (Unless I'm simply a very poor judge of it. . .)
(For future reference:)
The pain tends to sneak up on me in the middle of the evening (though tonight it came earlier). By the time I'm ready to think about sleep, it's bad enough that I feel that sleep is impossible, so I end up sitting up most (if not all) of the night, possibly able to drift off to sleep on the couch at 2 to 3 a.m. When I wake, the pain is noticeably lessened-- sometimes no longer even perceptible. I can usually go through the rest of the day (sometimes with some naps to make up for missed sleep) without any recurrence of the pain. There may be an occasional light "don't forget me yet" twinge or numbness in the general area, but that's about it.
Saturday and Sunday night were two bad nights in a row. (I think Sunday wasn't as bad, though.) Monday, I was able to go to sleep at a normal hour, but on Tuesday night, the pain returned. For the rest of the week, there seemed to be a pattern of a good night followed by a bad night. (So, as far as I can recall, Wed. = good, Thurs. = bad, Fri. = good, Sat. = bad.) Until tonight, since I'm "enjoying" my second bad night in a row. (Which is what happened last weekend, too, whatever that means, if anything. . .)
I should probably try to describe the pain itself, if I'm writing this complain-a-thon under the pretense of keeping a record for future reference, but I'm bad at describing pain. . . I'll try anyway.
The pain starts out focused in mostly the middle back (maybe lower middle?), more on the right side than the left. As it progresses (when it progresses), it seems to gradually spread to the sides and front-- pretty much the same area, only on my front as well as my back. I'm pretty sure this is just a sign that I'm tensing or putting extra stress on other muscles as a result of the back pain, since it seems only to happen after the back pain has been around a little while. The lower and upper back can sometimes hurt a little, too, but all this other pain tends to fade earlier in the night than the middle-back pain, and it all seems to originate with that middle-back pain, more to the right side than the left.
When the pain is at its worst, I feel a little queasy, but I'm almost positive this is just a reaction to the pain itself, not a symptom of whatever's causing the pain. I've never "been sick" from it-- just felt unsettled, like a mild case of indigestion.
. . .What else?
As for what kind of pain it is. . . I don't know how to describe it. It can be fairly sharp at the worst times, but mostly it's not generally at that jabby, "take your breath away" level, just steady, persistent discomfort-- enough to keep me from getting to sleep at a normal hour.
I've tried a few types of pain killers (ibuprofen, Advil, Tylenol), including some with sleep aids. The first "good" night after this all started, I had taken some type of generic Tylenol PM as a precautionary measure, so I thought I'd found my miracle drug. Oops-- not so fast. I eventually learned that it doesn't seem to make a big difference. Some nights I took it, I'd sleep fine. Other nights, I'd never get to sleep until 2 or 3. Instead, I'd just be groggier as I sat up with the pain.
(Ah, the Pain. My nightly companion. Many's the time I'd look at my [nonexistent] watch and op' my mouth with every intention of saying, "Well, look at the time! I guess I'd better be going off to bed now. And you! You must be exhausted after all that work!" only to find myself instantly hushed up. "No sleep for you yet, silly girl. Oh, no. I have other plans for you. . ." . . .Sorry. I blame the lack of sleep.)
Heating pad-- sometimes it seems to help, sometimes it just makes me feel like my trunk is burning while my hands and feet are freezing, which makes me feel really queasy and "Ohmygoshwhat'swrongwithme?!"-ish.
Stretching-- It feels at the worst times like if I could just stretch hard/far enough, it might feel better, but it really doesn't seem to make much immediate difference.
Massage-- Seemed to help for a little while, one time-- but only very temporarily. The next time, it didn't really seem to make even a temporary difference, maybe because I was in the worst part of the pain the second time, so it was harder to relax.
Tonight, upon some advice from others who have experience with back pain, I tried lying for a while (probably about 45 minutes one of the times) with my back flat on the floor and my legs up (in the seat of a chair). The idea is that this position takes all the stress off your back. (Or is it just the lower back?) Both times, it was not comfortable at first, but gradually became somewhat better. The pain never went away entirely (not sure if it was even "supposed" to, or if it just gives your back muscles a break), and I didn't notice any marked improvement once I got up again. It may be that this is meant to make more of a difference over the long term.
I can't tell if this pain is muscle-based or if it's caused by some sort of issue with nerves, but I lean toward muscle-based. (This is probably immediately obvious to people with more anatomical/pain management knowledge than I have.)
The biggest thing that helps is time, I guess. Sitting up and waiting, trying to find a decently comfortable position and just doing something to take my mind off it. Crocheting & listening to music, for instance, or complaining about my lamentable situation on "the Twitter". Writing long, detailed, and excruciatingly boring medical entries in my blog seems to work, too. I mean, yes, the pain's still there (Don't panic, my friend. I feel you, loud and clear. Calm yourself!), but it's much less. . . well, painful now than it was an hour or however long ago it was when I gave up hope of falling straight asleep and came out here instead. I might even be able to go to sleep soon, if I try. (For some reason, I think it's easier for me to fall asleep on the couch than in bed, with this back pain. I don't know why. Maybe it's all psychological. . . Anyway, it does seem easier to drift off through a little remnant of pain when I'm in this room.)
In short (ha ha ha, I'm hiLARious), if I had experienced this pain for one night-- maybe even two nights-- I would have been uncomfortable, but would have just shrugged my shoulders and been grateful when it was over. When it comes and goes for a week, I start getting more anxious and irritated. I begin to make mental lists of what I might be willing to do to get the pain to just - go - away. (Forever.) I find myself wondering how much longer it will stay-- and what I did to trigger it in the first place. (And how I can arrange to NEVER, EVER do that again, so long as I may live.)
I also question how bad this pain really is, comparatively speaking. Do I have a low threshold for pain? I'd always hoped and even been told once or twice that the opposite was true. After all, I took only half of one of the prescribed pain pills the dentist gave me after removing-- cutting out, in spots-- my wisdom teeth. And the women at the orthodontist's office were so impressed by my ability to bite those metal bands into place. (No, seriously. They seemed quite impressed. Maybe they were just surprised I could bite so hard? (g)) Then there was the pain associated with having braces in general. It definitely hurt, sometimes, but I don't recall taking pain killers. Somehow it was just manageable without anything. (Or maybe my terror of swallowing pills had something to do with that. (g) Hm. . .) In any case, now I wonder about that. . . Maybe I just have (had?) a high tolerance for mouth-related pain. Or maybe my threshold has lowered with (ever-increasing) age. It's troubling. One of those things you don't often think about until Pain comes around to pay a call and keeps you up at night.
(And then I also can't help but think of people facing horrible diseases and syndromes and infections. You wonder how much pain they might be in, all the time, and feel guilty for whining about what you have every reason to hope and believe will be a temporary discomfort. . . . Of course, it's easier to do that when the worst of your own pain has faded a little. . .)
Anyway, enough on that subject.
In other news, "health care reform" passed tonight. I have heard so many horribly discouraging things about this bill and where it may take us that that might be enough to keep me up at night even without this back pain. I'm infuriated, I'm discouraged, I'm. . . frightened-- fearful of what this might mean for myself, my family and the whole country. I feel powerless. I cast my vote in 2008, and it didn't do any good. I'll be voting again, every chance I get, to try to reverse some of what I see as damaging policies, but so many people (who are so much better informed than I am on these issues) seem to think that reversal will be incredibly difficult, if not impossible-- and unless more of my fellow voters have woken up by the next election, I don't have faith that my vote will be of any use whatsoever. This is why I probably shouldn't follow politics. (It depresses me.) This is also why it is so important that more everyday, common-sense Americans do follow politics! If more had paid attention and acted in previous elections, we might be in a better position today.
I guess there's not much to do now but pray (or keep praying), pay attention (even if it gives heartburn), and wait for November. . . and try not to lash out at those voters who have contributed to the tearing down of our country (brick by brick-- or in this case, wall by wall), because so many of them seem to be clueless as to what they're doing, and it's wrong (not to mention fruitless) to be unkind to dumb animals. ;oP
The End.
(Note: I probably ought to warn you right away that this isn't likely to be a happy or interesting post. I'm up late with more of the same pain, and I don't really have anything fun to write about. This is mostly a "venting" entry and a way to remember a few specifics in case the need to remember them should ever arise. Once I'm feeling better, I'll try to write something other than a grumble. Really. My tender, delicate feelings will not be hurt-- at all-- if you choose to skip this. In fact, I recommend it. (g) Again, really.)
The only reasons I can think of for the pain are one of these:
1) Saturday, I spent a lot of time standing around and sitting at tables. When I sit at tables, I probably tend to not have the best posture. . . and maybe somehow that triggered something. (?)
2) Possibly during cleaning on Tuesday and Wednesday I strained my back somehow. I know that it sometimes takes a day or so for pain to begin after a strain, but how likely it is to take three or four days, I'm not sure. . .
3) Something else that completely slips my mind-- possibly something that I'd never expect to cause back pain. Or I was just a ticking time bomb of back pain waiting to go off at the worst possible moment. ;o)
I feel like a little of a sissy-baby for making such a big deal about it, but it's just so frustrating. I've probably been lucky, but for years and years, I practically never took pain pills, and in more recent years, when I have started taking them for the occasional headache or abdominal cramp, they've tended to work. Sometimes they work better than others, but I can usually tell a difference, at least, even if I find I need to take the bigger recommended dose. This time, though, nothing I've taken seems to reliably put a dent in the pain. (Unless I'm simply a very poor judge of it. . .)
(For future reference:)
The pain tends to sneak up on me in the middle of the evening (though tonight it came earlier). By the time I'm ready to think about sleep, it's bad enough that I feel that sleep is impossible, so I end up sitting up most (if not all) of the night, possibly able to drift off to sleep on the couch at 2 to 3 a.m. When I wake, the pain is noticeably lessened-- sometimes no longer even perceptible. I can usually go through the rest of the day (sometimes with some naps to make up for missed sleep) without any recurrence of the pain. There may be an occasional light "don't forget me yet" twinge or numbness in the general area, but that's about it.
Saturday and Sunday night were two bad nights in a row. (I think Sunday wasn't as bad, though.) Monday, I was able to go to sleep at a normal hour, but on Tuesday night, the pain returned. For the rest of the week, there seemed to be a pattern of a good night followed by a bad night. (So, as far as I can recall, Wed. = good, Thurs. = bad, Fri. = good, Sat. = bad.) Until tonight, since I'm "enjoying" my second bad night in a row. (Which is what happened last weekend, too, whatever that means, if anything. . .)
I should probably try to describe the pain itself, if I'm writing this complain-a-thon under the pretense of keeping a record for future reference, but I'm bad at describing pain. . . I'll try anyway.
The pain starts out focused in mostly the middle back (maybe lower middle?), more on the right side than the left. As it progresses (when it progresses), it seems to gradually spread to the sides and front-- pretty much the same area, only on my front as well as my back. I'm pretty sure this is just a sign that I'm tensing or putting extra stress on other muscles as a result of the back pain, since it seems only to happen after the back pain has been around a little while. The lower and upper back can sometimes hurt a little, too, but all this other pain tends to fade earlier in the night than the middle-back pain, and it all seems to originate with that middle-back pain, more to the right side than the left.
When the pain is at its worst, I feel a little queasy, but I'm almost positive this is just a reaction to the pain itself, not a symptom of whatever's causing the pain. I've never "been sick" from it-- just felt unsettled, like a mild case of indigestion.
. . .What else?
As for what kind of pain it is. . . I don't know how to describe it. It can be fairly sharp at the worst times, but mostly it's not generally at that jabby, "take your breath away" level, just steady, persistent discomfort-- enough to keep me from getting to sleep at a normal hour.
I've tried a few types of pain killers (ibuprofen, Advil, Tylenol), including some with sleep aids. The first "good" night after this all started, I had taken some type of generic Tylenol PM as a precautionary measure, so I thought I'd found my miracle drug. Oops-- not so fast. I eventually learned that it doesn't seem to make a big difference. Some nights I took it, I'd sleep fine. Other nights, I'd never get to sleep until 2 or 3. Instead, I'd just be groggier as I sat up with the pain.
(Ah, the Pain. My nightly companion. Many's the time I'd look at my [nonexistent] watch and op' my mouth with every intention of saying, "Well, look at the time! I guess I'd better be going off to bed now. And you! You must be exhausted after all that work!" only to find myself instantly hushed up. "No sleep for you yet, silly girl. Oh, no. I have other plans for you. . ." . . .Sorry. I blame the lack of sleep.)
Heating pad-- sometimes it seems to help, sometimes it just makes me feel like my trunk is burning while my hands and feet are freezing, which makes me feel really queasy and "Ohmygoshwhat'swrongwithme?!"-ish.
Stretching-- It feels at the worst times like if I could just stretch hard/far enough, it might feel better, but it really doesn't seem to make much immediate difference.
Massage-- Seemed to help for a little while, one time-- but only very temporarily. The next time, it didn't really seem to make even a temporary difference, maybe because I was in the worst part of the pain the second time, so it was harder to relax.
Tonight, upon some advice from others who have experience with back pain, I tried lying for a while (probably about 45 minutes one of the times) with my back flat on the floor and my legs up (in the seat of a chair). The idea is that this position takes all the stress off your back. (Or is it just the lower back?) Both times, it was not comfortable at first, but gradually became somewhat better. The pain never went away entirely (not sure if it was even "supposed" to, or if it just gives your back muscles a break), and I didn't notice any marked improvement once I got up again. It may be that this is meant to make more of a difference over the long term.
I can't tell if this pain is muscle-based or if it's caused by some sort of issue with nerves, but I lean toward muscle-based. (This is probably immediately obvious to people with more anatomical/pain management knowledge than I have.)
The biggest thing that helps is time, I guess. Sitting up and waiting, trying to find a decently comfortable position and just doing something to take my mind off it. Crocheting & listening to music, for instance, or complaining about my lamentable situation on "the Twitter". Writing long, detailed, and excruciatingly boring medical entries in my blog seems to work, too. I mean, yes, the pain's still there (Don't panic, my friend. I feel you, loud and clear. Calm yourself!), but it's much less. . . well, painful now than it was an hour or however long ago it was when I gave up hope of falling straight asleep and came out here instead. I might even be able to go to sleep soon, if I try. (For some reason, I think it's easier for me to fall asleep on the couch than in bed, with this back pain. I don't know why. Maybe it's all psychological. . . Anyway, it does seem easier to drift off through a little remnant of pain when I'm in this room.)
In short (ha ha ha, I'm hiLARious), if I had experienced this pain for one night-- maybe even two nights-- I would have been uncomfortable, but would have just shrugged my shoulders and been grateful when it was over. When it comes and goes for a week, I start getting more anxious and irritated. I begin to make mental lists of what I might be willing to do to get the pain to just - go - away. (Forever.) I find myself wondering how much longer it will stay-- and what I did to trigger it in the first place. (And how I can arrange to NEVER, EVER do that again, so long as I may live.)
I also question how bad this pain really is, comparatively speaking. Do I have a low threshold for pain? I'd always hoped and even been told once or twice that the opposite was true. After all, I took only half of one of the prescribed pain pills the dentist gave me after removing-- cutting out, in spots-- my wisdom teeth. And the women at the orthodontist's office were so impressed by my ability to bite those metal bands into place. (No, seriously. They seemed quite impressed. Maybe they were just surprised I could bite so hard? (g)) Then there was the pain associated with having braces in general. It definitely hurt, sometimes, but I don't recall taking pain killers. Somehow it was just manageable without anything. (Or maybe my terror of swallowing pills had something to do with that. (g) Hm. . .) In any case, now I wonder about that. . . Maybe I just have (had?) a high tolerance for mouth-related pain. Or maybe my threshold has lowered with (ever-increasing) age. It's troubling. One of those things you don't often think about until Pain comes around to pay a call and keeps you up at night.
(And then I also can't help but think of people facing horrible diseases and syndromes and infections. You wonder how much pain they might be in, all the time, and feel guilty for whining about what you have every reason to hope and believe will be a temporary discomfort. . . . Of course, it's easier to do that when the worst of your own pain has faded a little. . .)
Anyway, enough on that subject.
In other news, "health care reform" passed tonight. I have heard so many horribly discouraging things about this bill and where it may take us that that might be enough to keep me up at night even without this back pain. I'm infuriated, I'm discouraged, I'm. . . frightened-- fearful of what this might mean for myself, my family and the whole country. I feel powerless. I cast my vote in 2008, and it didn't do any good. I'll be voting again, every chance I get, to try to reverse some of what I see as damaging policies, but so many people (who are so much better informed than I am on these issues) seem to think that reversal will be incredibly difficult, if not impossible-- and unless more of my fellow voters have woken up by the next election, I don't have faith that my vote will be of any use whatsoever. This is why I probably shouldn't follow politics. (It depresses me.) This is also why it is so important that more everyday, common-sense Americans do follow politics! If more had paid attention and acted in previous elections, we might be in a better position today.
I guess there's not much to do now but pray (or keep praying), pay attention (even if it gives heartburn), and wait for November. . . and try not to lash out at those voters who have contributed to the tearing down of our country (brick by brick-- or in this case, wall by wall), because so many of them seem to be clueless as to what they're doing, and it's wrong (not to mention fruitless) to be unkind to dumb animals. ;oP
The End.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
The Vacuum Cleaner Shopping Saga
What do you mean, people might not really care to read my (not so) exciting tale of vacuum cleaner shopping? Well, in that case, people might want to skip this entry.
Edit: In the middle of writing my harrowing account of vacuum shopping, I decided that not even I cared enough to finish it, so I'm pruning it (in a rare act of charity toward my handful of devoted readers). As you continue reading, you may begin to wonder, "If this is the pruned version, what in the name of verbosity was it before??" {shakes head sadly} You really don't want to know. . .
When our vacuum cleaner stopped working, nearly a week ago, it was obvious that a replacement would be needed soon. Particularly now, since a large patch outside our main entry is nothing but orange sand, a surprising amount of which is tracked in by our twelve collective feet.
After talking to Mom about her recently-purchased vacuum cleaner, I'd pretty much decided to get the same model. However, checking a few websites revealed that none were in stock, locally, and the shipping costs were prohibitive. (Enough that I might as well just buy a slightly more expensive model that was available in the local shops. Yeah, I have issues with shipping & handling. The main "issue" being that I really resent paying it and will only do so if there is no other possible solution.)
Or in other words, let the online comparison shopping begin!
I looked here, there, and everywhere. I read reviews. (It's amazing how there are always a few people who seem to have personal vendettas against every product or manufacturer. If you paid attention to all the "Never buy from ABC!!!" and "You might as well flush your $$$ down the toilet as buy XYZ!", you'd have to resign yourself to dirty floors. None are without detractors.) I compared prices and checked availability in local shops. I tried to puzzle out why some (all?) manufacturers have twenty zillion models on the market at the same time, then struggled to identify the differences between said models. I pored over vacuum specs and studied diagrams of features. I questioned the sanity of the person whose bright idea it was to have vacuums called "PowerTrak", "PowerForce", "PowerClean" and "PowerGlide". (And they're all from the same manufacturer!)
So, time for a little "brevitization":
Edit: In the middle of writing my harrowing account of vacuum shopping, I decided that not even I cared enough to finish it, so I'm pruning it (in a rare act of charity toward my handful of devoted readers). As you continue reading, you may begin to wonder, "If this is the pruned version, what in the name of verbosity was it before??" {shakes head sadly} You really don't want to know. . .
When our vacuum cleaner stopped working, nearly a week ago, it was obvious that a replacement would be needed soon. Particularly now, since a large patch outside our main entry is nothing but orange sand, a surprising amount of which is tracked in by our twelve collective feet.
After talking to Mom about her recently-purchased vacuum cleaner, I'd pretty much decided to get the same model. However, checking a few websites revealed that none were in stock, locally, and the shipping costs were prohibitive. (Enough that I might as well just buy a slightly more expensive model that was available in the local shops. Yeah, I have issues with shipping & handling. The main "issue" being that I really resent paying it and will only do so if there is no other possible solution.)
Or in other words, let the online comparison shopping begin!
I looked here, there, and everywhere. I read reviews. (It's amazing how there are always a few people who seem to have personal vendettas against every product or manufacturer. If you paid attention to all the "Never buy from ABC!!!" and "You might as well flush your $$$ down the toilet as buy XYZ!", you'd have to resign yourself to dirty floors. None are without detractors.) I compared prices and checked availability in local shops. I tried to puzzle out why some (all?) manufacturers have twenty zillion models on the market at the same time, then struggled to identify the differences between said models. I pored over vacuum specs and studied diagrams of features. I questioned the sanity of the person whose bright idea it was to have vacuums called "PowerTrak", "PowerForce", "PowerClean" and "PowerGlide". (And they're all from the same manufacturer!)
So, time for a little "brevitization":
- I mostly just wished I could get the vacuum that wasn't in stock, since at least I knew someone who liked it. Plus, it got mostly good reviews.
- When I finally went shopping later in the week, I didn't even go to the store where Mom had bought her vacuum, because it was still listed as "out of stock" on their website.
- Instead, I took notes on a couple different models on display in the store where I did my grocery shopping, and went home, with the prospect of yet more vacuum research to brighten my outlook on life.
- Talked to Mom again that afternoon. Learned that website was in error (and apparently is often). The vacuum was in stock!
- Wished I had known that earlier that day! (Stupid website! What is the point of that feature if it gives you the wrong info?!)
- Decided I'd probably get that vacuum next time I was in that area.
- Looked online a little bit more. (Don't remember why, now. . . Maybe I just had the pages already up from when I was in the midst of research. Perhaps I'd spent so much time vacuum-researching that I was addicted. Possibly I wanted to look once more at a few more things before I made my final decision.)
- Found a deal whereby I could get a different vacuum (one that's designed for vacuuming non-carpeted floors in addition to carpeted ones-- basically the same as the other vacuum, but with a couple of extra features) for not much more than the other one would've cost-- plus have it delivered here for free.
- Dithered some more. (You know I can dither like nobody's business.)
- Was finally told by Donald that this was the one we would get-- that it was worth the difference in price to be able to vacuum non-carpeted floors because that's how vacuums always work in Sweden. (Or something like that. . . I think he was mainly just tired of watching me research vacuum cleaners for days on end.)
- So I placed the order, and now we're expecting the vacuum sometime next week.
- Does anyone know where vacuum cleaners go when they've finally choked down their last dust bunny? No, that's not the opening for a joke. Seriously, how should I dispose of the old vacuum? Take it to the dump? Dismember it and stuff it in garbage bags for the weekly trash? Bury it in the backyard in the dead of night? (Just kidding about that last one.)
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
How unique is too unique?
Today I'm memeless, but still in a posty mood. I think I'm about to ramble (and ramble) in generalities. Feel free to skip this entry. (g)
Most of us don't want to be completely lost in the crowd. We want to stand out-- but only to a certain degree. We want to be recognized as a unique individual with specific personality traits, talents, and abilities. Some of us even feel that being known for our foibles (or more serious faults) is better than entirely blending in.
But on the other side of the coin, we (as a whole, not particularly all of us) are, at worst, extremely harsh toward anyone who doesn't "fit in". At best, we can't help but at least notice that they don't fit in, and we probably treat them differently because of that, even if we don't mean to do so.
I assume that most of you are familiar with the game show known as "Family Feud"? If not, here's a brief explanation: The idea of the game is that to win points by giving the most common/popular responses to different questions. The show has surveyed 100 people for each question to determine the relative popularity of the answers. In order to win, you have to think like other people-- or at least know how other people think. (There is a difference, by the way.) At some point in my youth, I was torn between wanting to "win" along with the contestants by giving the most popular answer-- and sometimes wondering what it said about me if I were able to win. At what point are you no longer just"fitting in"-- knowing your stuff about what other people think-- and simply ceasing to be a unique personality?
Doesn't the latest research indicate that some of our basic personality traits are determined genetically? Of course we are shaped by the events of our lives and the people we encounter along the way, but how much of who we are is predetermined? Should we take any more pride in (or credit for) our personalities-- talents-- ambitions-- than we should take for our natural hair color or our shoe size?
My "answer" (for the moment): As for our talents, no, we can't take much credit for that. Just as some of us are born with superior bodies, others are born with superior minds-- or a voice that sings more beautifully than average-- or an eye for drawing, etc. These things are blessings, if you like-- or if you're less religiously inclined, mere flukes-- "winning tickets" in the world of DNA. It is what we do with our individual gifts that we can take pride in-- using them for good, working hard to improve upon what we have, and having courage when dealing with our weaknesses.
But-- if our genes determine our basic personality traits, how much credit can we take even for our behavior?
Consider this scenario: Rob is born with an amazing talent for art. He shows great promise as a child, and by the time he's an adult, he's a successful artist. Steve is born with just average artistic ability. His people are all stick figures; he'll never be famous for his art. Can Rob really take more credit for his artistic ability than Steve can for his? I'd imagine that most would answer "no"-- no more than a tall person can take more "credit" for his height than a short person can.
Now, what about this scenario? Sarah is born with a healthy dose of ambition and carries it through to success. Driven by her ambitious nature, she works hard and does very well for herself. Betty, on the other hand, is born without much ambition. She isn't driven to succeed, so she'll never reach the heights Sarah's seen. She works just as much as she has to-- no more. Is Sarah's success any more to her credit than Betty's "just getting by"? Yes, she's worked harder, but that's at least partly because she was born with something in her personality that drives her to work. Does the fact that Sarah is driven to succeed make her any worthier than "go with the flow" Betty?
(Obviously, whether or not Sarah "deserves" more credit, she will reap the fruits of her labors. She'll be financially secure, admired/envied by others, and probably somewhat powerful. There's no debating that; it's the way the world works, after all, and possibly Sarah's example will inspire Betty to work harder than she would if surrounded by only people with her own laid back personality. The question is less practical and more philosophical.)
Is it genetically easier for some people to "be good" and do well in life? How much credit or blame do we deserve, if we're born with our basic personality traits? Is lazy Betty-- born without much natural ambition-- to be blamed more than the artistically challenged "stick-figure Steve"? (Maybe this is why we are told not to judge. Too bad it's so hard not to judge!!)
Carry it another step further-- How much of criminal behavior is based as on genetic predisposition as opposed to training (or the lack thereof) and situation (growing up in a place where criminality is common or even accepted)? Supposedly, some murderers and others with antisocial personality disorders are born without a conscience. They lack the ability to empathize-- to imagine how other people and creatures are feeling-- and this makes it possible for them to do horrible things that most of us couldn't imagine doing. If this is true-- if a person is born without the ability to see that something is terribly wrong-- if their only indication of it being wrong is that other people say "don't do it"-- how much blame do they bear for what they do? (The same questions raised by the old "it's a sickness" argument.)
I won't pretend to know the answer to that. I feel that however much our genes impact our behavior or determine who we are, we are still responsible for what we do with what we're given. We must do our best, but what "our best" is will probably vary somewhat from person to person. Some of us may have to work harder to be what we ought to be, but that doesn't give us an excuse to not behave in the way we know to be right. As for those who are born with such skewed perceptions as to not know what is right. . . if that's ever even truly the case. . . I don't know what we're supposed to do with them. My gut reaction is to banish them from our presence-- i.e. kill them, or at the very least condemn them to a life sentence in prison. But I have to admit that I'm not sure that's what God would want. I'm pretty sure that if someone purposely hurt someone I knew and cared about, my first impulse would be for revenge, whether or not it was right. (Hey, can't get much more honest than that, can you?)
Anyway. . .
As I wrote before, these are just philosophical ponderings. I'm definitely not trying to say that I think something along the lines of "we're all born one way or another-- we have no control over it-- so the concepts of right and wrong are archaic, and it's cruel to punish someone for being 'different'". Not at all!! I think that if there's a genetic component to our personalities (as it seems increasingly evident that there is), it's just interesting-- but we're still individually responsible for our actions. It may help explain a little more clearly why God instructs us to keep an eye on our own thoughts and actions and leave him to be the judge of all others. Maybe we don't know the whole story-- not merely the story of the events in the other person's life, but also the story of what s/he was given to work with.
I also don't advocate the opinion that, if some of us are born with greater ambition and/or abilities than others, it's inherently unfair that people earn different amounts of money, power, and prestige based on their individual gifts. For one thing, who's going to decide how to more fairly distribute those things? (I'd rather leave it up to the DNA lottery, myself. That's how much faith I have in my fellow man to do a better job!) For another-- how many times have we heard of immensely gifted people who still manage to make an utter mess of their lives? Things are just too infinitely complicated for us mere mortals to figure them out, however intelligent some of us may believe we are. ;o)
And to think, this all started because I was annoyed by an article's recommendation that you not give your dog a "popular" name. Come on, it's a dog!! What's the big deal? Don't give him a common name-- but you don't want a name that's too far out there, either!! It's a very delicate balance! Ok, maybe it could be annoying to give your dog a very common name if you're always taking her to dog parks or other places where you might call your dog and end up with twenty other pooches by the same name. For those of us who will never be in that situation, it seems pretty low on the list of things to worry about.
Both my dogs have very popular names-- or at least they have been in recent years-- but we just chose them at random. So how does that happen? Kind of weird, but you see it with kids' names, too. I've heard that "old-fashioned" names come back into style after a few generations. Something about names from the grandparents' generation seeming "out-dated", but those from another generation back seeming new again. My own grandparents' names don't seem very out-dated to me, but when I think of some of their sibling's names. . . Yes, some of those might feel a little old-fashioned. Not that they're bad names, but I have a hard time picturing a child with those names. An older person comes to mind, instead.
Ok, that's much more than enough rambling for one day. I'm not sure how much housecleaning ambition I was born with, but today I need to scrape together as much of it as I can. ;o)
Most of us don't want to be completely lost in the crowd. We want to stand out-- but only to a certain degree. We want to be recognized as a unique individual with specific personality traits, talents, and abilities. Some of us even feel that being known for our foibles (or more serious faults) is better than entirely blending in.
But on the other side of the coin, we (as a whole, not particularly all of us) are, at worst, extremely harsh toward anyone who doesn't "fit in". At best, we can't help but at least notice that they don't fit in, and we probably treat them differently because of that, even if we don't mean to do so.
I assume that most of you are familiar with the game show known as "Family Feud"? If not, here's a brief explanation: The idea of the game is that to win points by giving the most common/popular responses to different questions. The show has surveyed 100 people for each question to determine the relative popularity of the answers. In order to win, you have to think like other people-- or at least know how other people think. (There is a difference, by the way.) At some point in my youth, I was torn between wanting to "win" along with the contestants by giving the most popular answer-- and sometimes wondering what it said about me if I were able to win. At what point are you no longer just"fitting in"-- knowing your stuff about what other people think-- and simply ceasing to be a unique personality?
Doesn't the latest research indicate that some of our basic personality traits are determined genetically? Of course we are shaped by the events of our lives and the people we encounter along the way, but how much of who we are is predetermined? Should we take any more pride in (or credit for) our personalities-- talents-- ambitions-- than we should take for our natural hair color or our shoe size?
My "answer" (for the moment): As for our talents, no, we can't take much credit for that. Just as some of us are born with superior bodies, others are born with superior minds-- or a voice that sings more beautifully than average-- or an eye for drawing, etc. These things are blessings, if you like-- or if you're less religiously inclined, mere flukes-- "winning tickets" in the world of DNA. It is what we do with our individual gifts that we can take pride in-- using them for good, working hard to improve upon what we have, and having courage when dealing with our weaknesses.
But-- if our genes determine our basic personality traits, how much credit can we take even for our behavior?
Consider this scenario: Rob is born with an amazing talent for art. He shows great promise as a child, and by the time he's an adult, he's a successful artist. Steve is born with just average artistic ability. His people are all stick figures; he'll never be famous for his art. Can Rob really take more credit for his artistic ability than Steve can for his? I'd imagine that most would answer "no"-- no more than a tall person can take more "credit" for his height than a short person can.
Now, what about this scenario? Sarah is born with a healthy dose of ambition and carries it through to success. Driven by her ambitious nature, she works hard and does very well for herself. Betty, on the other hand, is born without much ambition. She isn't driven to succeed, so she'll never reach the heights Sarah's seen. She works just as much as she has to-- no more. Is Sarah's success any more to her credit than Betty's "just getting by"? Yes, she's worked harder, but that's at least partly because she was born with something in her personality that drives her to work. Does the fact that Sarah is driven to succeed make her any worthier than "go with the flow" Betty?
(Obviously, whether or not Sarah "deserves" more credit, she will reap the fruits of her labors. She'll be financially secure, admired/envied by others, and probably somewhat powerful. There's no debating that; it's the way the world works, after all, and possibly Sarah's example will inspire Betty to work harder than she would if surrounded by only people with her own laid back personality. The question is less practical and more philosophical.)
Is it genetically easier for some people to "be good" and do well in life? How much credit or blame do we deserve, if we're born with our basic personality traits? Is lazy Betty-- born without much natural ambition-- to be blamed more than the artistically challenged "stick-figure Steve"? (Maybe this is why we are told not to judge. Too bad it's so hard not to judge!!)
Carry it another step further-- How much of criminal behavior is based as on genetic predisposition as opposed to training (or the lack thereof) and situation (growing up in a place where criminality is common or even accepted)? Supposedly, some murderers and others with antisocial personality disorders are born without a conscience. They lack the ability to empathize-- to imagine how other people and creatures are feeling-- and this makes it possible for them to do horrible things that most of us couldn't imagine doing. If this is true-- if a person is born without the ability to see that something is terribly wrong-- if their only indication of it being wrong is that other people say "don't do it"-- how much blame do they bear for what they do? (The same questions raised by the old "it's a sickness" argument.)
I won't pretend to know the answer to that. I feel that however much our genes impact our behavior or determine who we are, we are still responsible for what we do with what we're given. We must do our best, but what "our best" is will probably vary somewhat from person to person. Some of us may have to work harder to be what we ought to be, but that doesn't give us an excuse to not behave in the way we know to be right. As for those who are born with such skewed perceptions as to not know what is right. . . if that's ever even truly the case. . . I don't know what we're supposed to do with them. My gut reaction is to banish them from our presence-- i.e. kill them, or at the very least condemn them to a life sentence in prison. But I have to admit that I'm not sure that's what God would want. I'm pretty sure that if someone purposely hurt someone I knew and cared about, my first impulse would be for revenge, whether or not it was right. (Hey, can't get much more honest than that, can you?)
Anyway. . .
As I wrote before, these are just philosophical ponderings. I'm definitely not trying to say that I think something along the lines of "we're all born one way or another-- we have no control over it-- so the concepts of right and wrong are archaic, and it's cruel to punish someone for being 'different'". Not at all!! I think that if there's a genetic component to our personalities (as it seems increasingly evident that there is), it's just interesting-- but we're still individually responsible for our actions. It may help explain a little more clearly why God instructs us to keep an eye on our own thoughts and actions and leave him to be the judge of all others. Maybe we don't know the whole story-- not merely the story of the events in the other person's life, but also the story of what s/he was given to work with.
I also don't advocate the opinion that, if some of us are born with greater ambition and/or abilities than others, it's inherently unfair that people earn different amounts of money, power, and prestige based on their individual gifts. For one thing, who's going to decide how to more fairly distribute those things? (I'd rather leave it up to the DNA lottery, myself. That's how much faith I have in my fellow man to do a better job!) For another-- how many times have we heard of immensely gifted people who still manage to make an utter mess of their lives? Things are just too infinitely complicated for us mere mortals to figure them out, however intelligent some of us may believe we are. ;o)
And to think, this all started because I was annoyed by an article's recommendation that you not give your dog a "popular" name. Come on, it's a dog!! What's the big deal? Don't give him a common name-- but you don't want a name that's too far out there, either!! It's a very delicate balance! Ok, maybe it could be annoying to give your dog a very common name if you're always taking her to dog parks or other places where you might call your dog and end up with twenty other pooches by the same name. For those of us who will never be in that situation, it seems pretty low on the list of things to worry about.
Both my dogs have very popular names-- or at least they have been in recent years-- but we just chose them at random. So how does that happen? Kind of weird, but you see it with kids' names, too. I've heard that "old-fashioned" names come back into style after a few generations. Something about names from the grandparents' generation seeming "out-dated", but those from another generation back seeming new again. My own grandparents' names don't seem very out-dated to me, but when I think of some of their sibling's names. . . Yes, some of those might feel a little old-fashioned. Not that they're bad names, but I have a hard time picturing a child with those names. An older person comes to mind, instead.
Ok, that's much more than enough rambling for one day. I'm not sure how much housecleaning ambition I was born with, but today I need to scrape together as much of it as I can. ;o)
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