Okra? Marijuana? Same Difference!

CARTERSVILLE, Ga. (AP) – A Georgia man says drug suppression officers mistook his okra plants for marijuana.

Dwayne Perry of Cartersville tells WSB-TV that he was awakened by a helicopter flying low over his house Wednesday and then some heavily-armed deputies and a K-9 unit showed up at his door. They were from the Governor’s Task Force for drug suppression and they were out looking for marijuana plants.

What they had seen, apparently, were Perry’s okra plants and a shrub at the end of his house.

Perry says the officers ended up apologizing to him.

Patrol Capt. Kermit Stokes says the plants did have characteristics similar to marijuana.

Perry says people keep asking him about the officers at his house, and he worries that his reputation has been damaged.

...That's just embarrassing-- for the deputies.

My okra didn't do much this year.  Maybe I'll try again next summer.

What with that and the cleome I plan on growing from seed, I'll be at the top of the Most Wanted list...

Thank You, Mr. Internet

Donald and I were talking only yesterday about how much modern technology has changed the world, even in just the past ten or twenty years.  It's amazing-- and it creeps up on you while you're not watching.

(You know, the fact that Penny's "computer book" is now a very real thing-- only it's not nearly so bulky as hers was.  Or the way we take for granted the ability to research any subject at any time on the Internet... and from almost any place, if you have a smart phone, tablet, etc.  As silly as it sounds, it truly is the Information Superhighway.  Then there's the ease of finding and ordering products online.)

You think you've got a grasp on things.  You think you're aware of just how mind-boggling it all is.

And then you stumble upon Not Quite What the Doctor Ordered, a blog devoted entirely to Dr. Pepper copycats...

And your mind is blown all over again!  ;o)

Mr. Pig!  Dr. Good Guy!  Dr. Whatever!  Mr. Sipp!  Dr. Aahh!

I tried to find a similar blog for Mountain Dew copies, but failed.  This and this were the closest things I could find.  (And there seems to be a Wiki page on the subject.  Of course.  I should have known.)

Those Crazy Swedes! ;o)

This is what happens when you put a Volvo 240 turbo engine in an old tractor...


(Video from Gotland, Sweden.)

Can It Be True?

This feels familiar... I think I might've heard it (or something like it) before.



So... Can it be true?  Could an adult (without a severe mental handicap) really believe that deer cross the road at specific places because of the presence of deer-crossing signs?

ETA: Well, maybe it is true!

Don't Ask Me Why; I Don't Know.

Going through a bag of yarn I recently bought at a thrift store, I found a few interesting, "vintage" labels.  This one takes the prize for Most Amusing:

Jonathan Livingston Seagull Handicraft Yarn. I remember my parents talking about reading the novella in school (back in the 70s), and it just strikes me as hilarious that there was a brand of yarn "based on" the book. 

(I see that it was originally 48 cents at K-Mart.)

Check it out! This is "a very special yarn based on the very special thoughts expressed in JONATHAN LIVINGSTON SEAGULL."  It's "for creating any number of imaginative, unique items by any handcraft process you choose-- rugs, crocheting, knitting, macrame, etc.  The versatility of this acrylic yarn is limited only by your desire to create."

Limited only by my desire to create... That's deep, man.  Deep...  ;o)

"Acrilan!  An acrylic fiber by Monsanto."  Capitalizing on the popularity of some random book (that as far as I can tell had nothing to do with yarn).  It's the American way!

Have No Fear! Goateesaver's Here!

I know it's early yet to think much about stocking stuffers, but... all you ladies with husbands or boyfriends who like to keep a little facial hair, take note, because we've found the perfect gift!

I present to you... the Goateesaver!!

For only $20, you get this nifty plastic (?) thing-um that (if I understand correctly) a man can hold in place with his mouth.  It's an adjustable template for shaving a goatee!  (How did they manage to shave before the invention of this life-changing device?!)

Donald thinks this other photo (showing the results of using the Goateesaver, I guess) looks Photoshopped:

(Men's beards don't usually grow so thickly and uniformly over parts of that area under the mouth, but possibly he's a werewolf... or Chuck Norris.)

I love it that one of the Amazon reviews of this product is titled "Very OK".   Ha!

But for all my joking, it has over fifty reviews... so maybe it really is a good gift idea for someone out there.  Twenty dollars seems high, though.  You could just make your own with a cut-off drinking straw taped/glued to a "custom-made goatee template" (i.e. an oval-ish piece of cardboard-- or if you want to get really fancy, something cut out from the lid of a tub of margarine).

Use the money you save to buy The Facial Hair Handbook!

Looking at History...

Looking at history through Obama-tinted lenses!

"Obama Drops His Name Into the Other Presidential Biographies".

"...it turns out Obama has added bullet points bragging about his own accomplishments to the biographical sketches of every single U.S. president since Calvin Coolidge (except, for some reason, Gerald Ford)."

That is just hilarious.  And pathetic.  And the sort of thing that ought to be somewhat shocking/embarrassing, but at this point, is simply what we've come to expect from this administration.

Well, thanks for the laugh, WH.org!

Gosh...

Been browsing Awkward Family Photos (.com) for a laugh.

Found a few:

A Face in the Crowd

Come Together

The Fetal Position 2

...among others.

(There's also an Awkward Family Pet Photos, by the way.)

Giving Thanks

It's a couple of days early, but today, I'd like to give thanks that no-one in my family would ever send out a letter like this:

---
From: Marney

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

HJB—Dinner wine

The Mike Byron Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don't feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don't care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel - please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

Looking forward to the 28th!!

Marney
---

Apparently it's a real letter.  I first saw it here (on Awkward Family Photos), which is also where I saw this photo of Anne Shirley's dream wedding gown.  (That is the upper limit on sleeve puffiness.  Any puffier than that and the weight of the fabric causes catastrophic puff failure and eventual collapse.  Ok, not really.  I know nothing about wedding dress construction, and I imagine it is in fact possible to create puffier sleeves... but why would you ever want to?)

P.S. to my family:  As a married woman, I feel I ought to be contributing at the adult level.  Just tell me what to bring.  And how many pounds to make.  And what recipe I should use.   And what dish (lidded? not lidded? For Heaven's sake, TELL ME!!) to bring it in.  And how many serving spoons are needed.  Also: will a little EVOO be required to jazz up my dish?  If I bring green beans and asparagus, will you disown me, or just sentence me to a month of the silent treatment?  Please get back to me ASAP.

Just Don't Get It: Moustache Edition

Ok, admittedly, I'm not always usually ever the first to know about the latest fads.  However, often I can at least more or less "get" them and their appeal.  Cupcakes?  Owls?  Nyan Cat?  Sure, those are fine.  I can see how they might've become popular.  (I even like all three of those.)  This fake moustache craze that's been going on for years (?), though, I just don't get. 

How did this fake moustache thing even get started?  Does anyone know? All I know is that I've been seeing them with increasing regularity over the past year or so, and I think they're kind of gross.  Yeah, that's right, I said it. ;o)  Call me an old fuddy-duddy, but I'm not a fan.  (Some) real moustaches are ok, as long as they aren't hideous.  (If you aren't sure whether or not your moustache is hideous, please ask a trusted friend.  Either that or embrace the hideousness and try not to be offended when people look away with an ill-concealed expression of disgust... and possibly a little fear.) 

Again, to restate:
Real, non-hideous moustaches? Ok. 
Fake ones?  Popping up everywhere?  Next fad, please!

Ha!

(You have to know something about the authors and/or works mentioned to get the "joke", but at least I think it's funny...)

While googling for book/author recommendations for fans of P.G. Wodehouse, I came across a library website suggesting that if you like P.G. Wodehouse and Charles Dickens, you should try Ethan Frome, by Edith Wharton.  Ok, maybe for someone who enjoys the darker side of Dickens, Edith Wharton could make a little sense, but P.G. Wodehouse?  And Ethan Frome?  Surely this "Ellen" (the librarian making the recommendations) jests.

The other recommendations for fans of Wodehouse and Dickens were just as odd:  A Changed Man (apparently about a reformed skinhead), About a Boy (it's by Nick Hornby, so I'm assuming it's drama), March (which evidently "drives home the intimate horrors and ironies of the Civil War and the difficulty of living honestly with the knowledge of human suffering"), and War Trash ("painted with starkly melancholy longing").

This is just weird.  Or did Wodehouse (of Jeeves and Wooster fame) also pen works of starkly melancholy longing about the intimate horrors and ironies of war and human suffering?  Possibly I've simply never happened to hear of them...

Watch Fresh, Watch Local

This report made us laugh last night. The subject matter (a meth lab bust with children on the scene) isn't at all funny, but then there's the "creative" reporting/camera work (keep watching; you'll know it when you see it) and Boomer (who "kept an eye on them").

Donald initially thought this should be brought to the attention of the people behind the "hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife" and "I'm backin' up, backin' up" auto-tune videos, but sadly, I don't believe there's enough there to merit it.  Well, we'll keep a look-out for more promising reports. 

On a Lighter Note...

Ha!

"Abercrombie to pay 'Jersey Shore' cast to stop wearing its clothes."

"We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino's association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image. We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans,“ an Abercrombie & Fitch spokesperson said in a statement. “We have also extended this offer to other members of the cast, and are urgently waiting a response."

That's hilarious. 
It's even funnier when you consider that Abercrombie & Fitch doesn't exactly have a sterling reputation, itself.

Sure, it's probably just a way to get some free advertising, but I'm still amused. 

Funny... I've never watched "Jersey Shore"-- never shopped at Abercrombie & Fitch.  (I don't know if there's even one anywhere in this area.  Maybe in one of the malls?)  So how do I know anything about either one?  Clearly, both entities have done a good job of getting into the news.   

Worlds Colliding!

(Via James Lileks on Twitter...)

If you're familiar with The Andy Griffith Show and the original Star Trek TV series, maybe you'll appreciate this "worlds colliding" moment.  Apparently, two Star Trek episodes used the "Mayberry" sets when the crew of the Enterprise visited an Earth-like planet.  Check out some stills on this site: Mayberry in Star Trek. 

My favorite is the one where Kirk and some lady are walking right past Floyd's Barber Shop-- with the name right there on the window.  (g)  If only they'd gone in and visited a while with the friendly denizens of Mayberry!

Derailed Duck

Two crazy Swedish guys break an amusement park ride. ;o)

(But really, they weren't spinning it that fast-- not so fast that you'd think it should come loose. Good thing there were no kids standing in the duck's path!)

The Pizza Police

Ok, are people seriously griping about how Sarah Palin ate a slice of pizza?  (She *gasp* used a knife and fork instead of her fingers.)

Let's just be honest here.  If she'd used her bare hands, someone would be saying that she lacked class because of that.  No matter what she does, it's "wrong".

Personally, I usually eat pizza with knife and fork, these days.  I don't think I did when I was younger, and I don't have to have utensils even now, but I do prefer it that way.  It makes less of a mess-- no greasy fingers, smears of tomato sauce on your face, choking hazards of stringy cheese, etc.

Anyway, why should anyone care how someone else chooses to eat his or her pizza? Why does it matter?  What is this?  An episode of Seinfeld?  ;o)

"Yes! Its Hurts"

This blog post/photo gave me a laugh.  (g)

It's a sticker found somewhere in Stockholm reading-- in part-- "I ❤ Tattoos" and "Yes! Its Hurts".

Yes, I think that falls under both "bad motto" and "bad grammar". 

Guilty!

I know-- some "experts" swear dogs are incapable of feelings of guilt. "That dog doesn't feel guilty! Even if he did eat the cat treats, he forgot about it two minutes after it happened! He can just tell by your tone and body language that you're displeased, so he reacts accordingly." Personally, I'm not convinced, but either way, this video gave me a good laugh.

Dude is Psycho.

Crazy ol' Chavez-- always good for a laugh:

Chavez says capitalism may have ended life on Mars.

Capitalism may be to blame for the lack of life on the planet Mars, Venezuela's socialist President Hugo Chavez said on Tuesday.

"I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet," Chavez said in speech to mark World Water Day.

Seriously?
You have to wonder if certain people know how ridiculous they sound and just pretend not to be aware of it... or if they're truly, legitimately that out-of-it.

...Personally, I've long suspected that the vast and advanced (subterranean) civilization of Mars fell prey to a vampire-zombie-plague outbreak that wiped out the entire population in a matter of days.  It happened about 1,673 Earth-years ago, in fact.

Amusements du Jour

Via an "anonymous" designer:  Clients from Hell
Enjoy the weirdness, rudeness, and/or cluelessness of a certain percentage of the public, as witnessed by those who design for a living.  (Anyone who knows the joy of explaining computery, techy things to decidedly non-techy people might also get a kick out of it.)  Admittedly, some of the snippets deserve a response along the lines of "um, okay... I think you were the odd one in that situation".  But then you have classics like...

• "Isn’t it as simple as putting in a button to select different languages? Just look at Facebook."
• "We want to know for sure who we are dealing with here. After registration, users need to send a copy of their passport or identification to us by mail."
• “How do you spell HTML?”
• "I’m afraid of Facebook, people can find you through it. They could have complaints and I don’t want to be hunted down by the Facebook people."
• "We are on a bit of a rush for this one, I’m going into jail on Tuesday."
• ...and many, many more!  ;o)

Via being alive and on Flickr circa 2008:  What's in Your Bag?
There's no single link for this one.  If you're interested, just go to Flickr and do a "groups" search for "what's in your bag".  You'll find quite a few variations on the theme.  Basically, a person pours out everything in his/her bag/purse, arranges it (neatly or not so neatly, according to taste), and gets it all into a single photograph, which is then put online for the whole world to admire.  I'm not sure when this actually became a "thing"/meme, but I know it's been a few years, at least, since I first heard of it. 

Though looking at such similar photos from so many strangers can get boring after a while, the idea itself is interesting, and you can sometimes get a real sense of a person's life-- or at least his or her sense of style-- based on the little things s/he carries around on a daily basis.  (Also, it's like snooping, but with no guilt. (g))  Of course, then you have people like me who probably don't have anything interesting in their bags at all-- not much to provide a clue to the person's interests in life.  I don't usually carry "fun" things in my purse-- just the basics I need (or think I may need) when I leave the house.  ...Which reminds me that I've never done this myself.  Maybe I will, today.